How to say it · Following the conversation

Starting a conversation with someone new

You're next to someone you don't know and the silence is getting long. The hard part is the first line: easy, friendly and not too personal.

5 ways to say it

At a house party, Sam smiles and waves to a woman standing alone in the kitchen.

How boldSafeBold

Is this your first time here?best default Lovely day, isn't it?classic and safe So what brings you here?curious Mind if I join you?friendly move I don't think we've metself-introduction

Way 1 · best default

Is this your first time here?

Works at classes, gyms, events and clubs. Easy to answer, and it leads to more questions.

How boldSafe

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

Hi! Is this your first time here? I've only been once before.

Is this your first time here? You look as lost as I feel.

In a conversation

A: Is this your first time here?
B: Yeah, my friend told me about the class. You?

Common mistake

Not: Is it your first time ~~to come~~ here?

Say: Is this your first time here?

No "to come" needed. "Your first time here" already includes the coming.

Practice saying this

Next: Lovely day, isn't it?

Way 2 · classic and safe

Lovely day, isn't it?

The weather is the safest topic with strangers. It asks nothing personal and anyone can reply.

How boldVery safe

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

Lovely day, isn't it? Shame I'm stuck at work.

An old man at the bus stop said "Lovely day, isn't it?" and we chatted until the bus came.

Practice saying this

Next: So what brings you here?

Way 3 · curious

So what brings you here?

A friendly way to ask why someone is at an event or in a place. It invites a story.

How boldMiddle

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

So what brings you here? Work or holiday?

Nice to meet you, Ana. So what brings you here? Do you know the bride?

In a conversation

A: So what brings you here?
B: I'm a friend of the groom. We went to school together.

Practice saying this

Next: Mind if I join you?

Way 4 · friendly move

Mind if I join you?

You walk up to a person or group and ask to sit or stand with them. Bold, but polite.

How boldVery bold

ToneCasual

Use itAnywhere

Examples

There's a free seat. Mind if I join you?

Mind if I join you? My team hasn't turned up.

In a conversation

A: Mind if I join you? It's packed in here.
B: Not at all, grab a chair.

Practice saying this

Next: I don't think we've met

Way 5 · self-introduction

I don't think we've met

You introduce yourself directly. Normal at work events, parties and meetings.

How boldBold

ToneNeutral

Use itAt work

Examples

Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Sam, I work in marketing.

I don't think we've met before. Are you Jo's sister?

Common mistake

Not: ~~Hello. What is your name?~~

Say: Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Sam.

Asking for a name straight away sounds like filling in a form. Give your name first, and they'll give theirs.

Practice saying this

Test yourself: which would you say?

Pick the right one

Which would you say?

Read the moment, then choose the way that fits it best.

The mistake learners make

What a translation app gives you, and what people actually say.

Not: ~~How old are you? Are~~ you ~~married?~~

Say: So what brings you here?

Age, salary and marriage are too personal for a first chat in English. Start with the place, the event or the weather.

Now say it out loud

Pick one and practise it in a real conversation. Save the ones you want to remember.

Is this your first time here?Lovely day, isn't it?So what brings you here?Mind if I join you?

Which would you say?

The mistake learners make

Now say it out loud

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