How to say it · Saying no and disagreeing

Being honest and direct with someone

You've been hinting for too long and it isn't working. Now you want to say the real thing, plainly, without being cruel.

6 ways to say it

How directCarefulBlunt

I'll be honest with youbest default Can I be honest?ask first I'll be upfront with youfrom the start Just tell me straightasking for it I'm just going to say itawkward truth I'll be bluntno sugar-coating

Way 1 · best default

I'll be honest with you

A signal that the truth is coming. It sounds caring, not harsh.

How directCareful

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

I'll be honest with you, I don't think he's right for the job.

I'll be honest with you: I'm a bit worried about the cost.

In a conversation

A: So, what did you think of my presentation?
B: I'll be honest with you. The start was great, but it was too long.

Common mistake

Not: I'll be honest to you.

Say: I'll be honest with you.

In English you're honest "with" someone, not "to" them.

Practice saying this

Next: Can I be honest?

Way 2 · ask first

Can I be honest?

You check they really want the truth before you give it. The most careful way in.

How directVery careful

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

Can I be honest? I'm not sure he treats you very well.

You asked what I think. Can I be honest?

In a conversation

A: You've gone quiet. What do you think of Tom?
B: Can I be honest? He seems a bit controlling.

Practice saying this

Next: I'll be upfront with you

Way 3 · from the start

I'll be upfront with you

You say the important facts at the beginning, like money or limits, so there are no surprises later.

How directMiddle

ToneNeutral

Use itAt work

Examples

I'll be upfront with you: our budget is quite small.

I'll be upfront with you, I'm also talking to two other companies.

In a conversation

A: So what kind of budget are we talking about?
B: I'll be upfront with you. It's small, about two thousand.

Practice saying this

Next: Just tell me straight

Way 4 · asking for it

Just tell me straight

You ask someone else to stop softening it and give you the plain truth.

How directMiddle

ToneCasual

Use itAnywhere

Examples

Please, just tell me straight. Is it serious?

Don't worry about my feelings. Just tell me straight.

Common mistake

Not: ~~Be straight to me.~~

Say: Just tell me straight.

Say "tell me straight" or "be straight with me". "Straight to me" sounds like directions.

Practice saying this

Next: I'm just going to say it

Way 5 · awkward truth

I'm just going to say it

You've avoided it long enough. You're about to say the awkward thing out loud.

How directBlunt

ToneCasual

Use itWith friends

Examples

OK, I'm just going to say it: you never do the washing-up.

I'm just going to say it. I don't want to go on this trip.

Practice saying this

Next: I'll be blunt

Way 6 · no sugar-coating

I'll be blunt

Very direct, almost harsh. Only when people ask for it or time is short.

How directVery blunt

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

You asked for feedback, so I'll be blunt: it's not ready.

I'll be blunt. We can't afford this.

Practice saying this

Test yourself: which would you say?

Pick the right one

Which would you say?

Read the moment, then choose the way that fits it best.

Now say it out loud

Pick one and practise it in a real conversation. Save the ones you want to remember.

I'll be honest with you Can I be honest?I'll be upfront with you Just tell me straight

Which would you say?

Now say it out loud

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