How to say it · Saying no and disagreeing

Describing a bad idea politely

Someone is excited about a plan you think is a mistake. You want to warn them without crushing their idea or their mood.

5 ways to say it

How directGentleDirect

I'm not sure that's a good ideabest default Have you thought aboutgentle nudge That might backfirewarning It's an interesting ideapolite code I really don't think we should do thatstrong no

Way 1 · best default

I'm not sure that's a good idea

Honest and clear, but "not sure" stops it sounding like a judgement.

How directMiddle

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

I'm not sure that's a good idea. The kitchen's already quite dark.

Painting it black? I'm not sure that's a good idea.

In a conversation

A: I'm going to quit tomorrow and tell my boss exactly what I think.
B: I'm not sure that's a good idea. Why not sleep on it first?

Common mistake

Not: ~~Your idea is bad.~~

Say: I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Calling the idea bad sounds like you're calling the person bad. Doubt is kinder and just as clear.

Practice saying this

Next: Have you thought about

Way 2 · gentle nudge

Have you thought about

You don't criticise at all. You point them towards a better option with a question.

How directVery gentle

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

Have you thought about waiting until the morning?

It sounds fun. Have you thought about how you'd get home, though?

In a conversation

A: I'm going to text him right now and tell him how I feel.
B: It's two in the morning. Have you thought about calling him tomorrow?

Practice saying this

Next: That might backfire

Way 3 · warning

That might backfire

The plan could cause the opposite of what they want. You talk about results, not the person.

How directDirect

ToneNeutral

Use itAt work

Examples

That might backfire if customers start thinking we're cheap.

I get the idea, but that might backfire if the press finds out.

Common mistake

Not: That might ~~fire back.~~

Say: That might backfire.

It's one word: "backfire", like a car engine making a bang. "Fire back" means shoot back at someone.

Practice saying this

Next: It's an interesting idea

Way 4 · polite code

It's an interesting idea

Sounds kind, but often means "I don't like it". British people use it to stay vague.

How directGentle

ToneNeutral

Use itAt work

Examples

It's an interesting idea. Let me think about it.

Hmm, it's an interesting idea, but I'm not sure our clients are ready.

Practice saying this

Next: I really don't think we should do that

Way 5 · strong no

I really don't think we should do that

For plans that are risky or unsafe. Still polite, but nobody can miss the message.

How directVery direct

ToneNeutral

Use itAnywhere

Examples

I really don't think we should do that. It's not safe.

Drive all night? I really don't think we should do that.

In a conversation

A: Let's skip the hotel and just drive through the night.
B: After a full day at work? I really don't think we should do that.

Practice saying this

Test yourself: which would you say?

Pick the right one

Which would you say?

Read the moment, then choose the way that fits it best.

Now say it out loud

Pick one and practise it in a real conversation. Save the ones you want to remember.

I'm not sure that's a good idea Have you thought about That might backfire It's an interesting idea

Which would you say?

Now say it out loud

More moments like this