Someone tells you about something bad that happened. You want to show you care, matching the size of the problem without making it awkward.
Way 1 · best default
You show you understand how they feel, without trying to fix it.
Examples
Working nights with a new baby? That sounds really hard.
That sounds really hard. How are you coping?
In a conversation
A: My dad's in hospital again and I'm driving there every day after work.
B: That sounds really hard. Are you getting any sleep?
Way 2 · classic response
The standard first reply to sad news. Works in person, by email or by text.
Examples
You lost your job? I'm so sorry to hear that.
I'm so sorry to hear that your cat died.
Common mistake
Not: I'm sorry for you.
Say: I'm so sorry to hear that.
"Sorry for you" can sound like pity, as if you look down on them. "Sorry to hear that" just shows you care.
Way 3 · small problems
For everyday annoyances: a missed train, a broken phone. Don't use it for real sadness.
Examples
Your flight's cancelled? Oh no, what a pain.
Oh no, what a pain. Did you have to wait long?
In a conversation
A: I left my laptop charger at home, so I can't work today.
B: Oh no, what a pain. Want to borrow mine?
Way 4 · open the door
Gives them the choice to share more, or not. Good when you can see they're upset.
Examples
You look really down today. Do you want to talk about it?
Do you want to talk about it, or shall we just get a coffee?
Way 5 · real support
An open offer of help. It means more if you follow up with something specific.
Examples
I can't imagine how you feel. I'm here if you need anything.
Thinking of you today. I'm here if you need anything.
In a conversation
A: Thanks for coming. I don't really know what to say.
B: You don't have to say anything. I'm here if you need anything.
Way 6 · after a death
Only when someone has died. Respectful and safe with anyone, even people you barely know.
Examples
I heard about your grandmother. I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a wonderful teacher.
Common mistake
Not: My condolences for your lost.
Say: I'm sorry for your loss.
"Loss" is the noun, "lost" is the verb. "Condolences" is fine, but it's very formal and mostly written.
Read the moment, then choose the way that fits it best.
Pick one and practise it in a real conversation. Save the ones you want to remember.
