How to say it · Describing people

Describing someone very sure of themselves

Being sure of yourself is a good thing, until it isn't. English has different words for each side of that line, and mixing them up can insult someone.

6 ways to say it
In an interview waiting area, Sam sits calmly while the man beside him lounges with his feet up under an oversized crown.
How it soundsPositiveNegative

Way 1 · best compliment

confident

Believes in their own ability. Always a compliment.

How it soundsVery positive
ToneNeutral
Use itAnywhere

Examples

She's a really confident speaker.

You looked so confident up there!

In a conversation

A: I was so nervous up there.
B: Really? You looked so confident!

Common mistake

Not: You are so confidence.

Say: You're so confident.

"Confidence" is the noun. To describe a person, use the adjective "confident".

Next: self-assured

Way 2 · calm and steady

self-assured

Quietly sure of themselves, never showy. Common in references and reviews.

How it soundsVery positive
ToneFormal
Use itAt work

Examples

He's calm and self-assured with clients.

For someone so young, she's remarkably self-assured.

Next: sure of yourself

Way 3 · could go either way

sure of yourself

Depends on the tone. Said with a smile it's praise; with raised eyebrows, a warning.

How it soundsMiddle
ToneNeutral
Use itAnywhere

Examples

He's very sure of himself for a first-year student.

You're very sure of yourself, aren't you?

Next: cocky

Way 4 · showing off

cocky

Too confident and loves to show it. Often about young people or sports stars.

How it soundsNegative
ToneCasual
Use itWith friends

Examples

He scored once and got really cocky.

Don't get cocky. The second half is still to play.

In a conversation

A: I'll beat you easily. I haven't lost all year.
B: Don't get cocky. You haven't played me yet.

Next: full of yourself

Way 5 · self-important

full of yourself

Thinks they're very important and talks about themselves a lot.

How it soundsNegative
ToneCasual
Use itWith friends

Examples

He's nice, but a bit full of himself.

She talked about her own success all night. So full of herself.

Next: arrogant

Way 6 · looks down on others

arrogant

Thinks they're better than other people and treats them that way. A strong criticism.

How it soundsVery negative
ToneNeutral
Use itAnywhere

Examples

Our new manager is so arrogant. He never listens to anyone.

I don't want to sound arrogant, but I knew I'd get the job.

In a conversation

A: How's the new boss?
B: Honestly? Arrogant. He never listens to anyone.

Common mistake

Not: She's very proud. She thinks she's better than everyone.

Say: She's quite arrogant. She thinks she's better than everyone.

"Proud" is often positive in English ("proud of my son"). For looking down on people, say "arrogant".

Test yourself: which would you say?
Pick the right one

Which would you say?

Read the moment, then choose the way that fits it best.

Now say it out loud

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